Object Disorientation

Ask not what you can do to your objects, but what your objects can do for you.

The object-oriented primer tells us that objects are collections of data and behaviors. Sadly, modern Java de-emphasizes the behaviors, telling us we just need a bunch of beans wired to a few business functions and… tada… object-oriented magic.

This sort of programming tends to not be object-oriented at all. It generally leads to reams of what Martin Fowler calls “getter confetti,” plus a few thousand-line methods that do all the real work in about as procedural a way as you can make an object-oriented language.

I nominate this pattern for the name “object-disorientation,” or “object-disoriented.” Yes, someone already called it the blob, but the blob differs in its cause. The blob results from “sloth” and “haste.” Object disorientation results from careful, intentional misapplication of object-oriented principles. Someone says to encapsulate data, and someone carefully encapsulates fields, missing the more subtle encapsulation and allocation of behavior.

I suspect it happens because people think of programs as recipes for solving problems rather than reflections of the problems themselves. We tend to ask the steps from here to there rather than heeding Hannibal Lecter and asking of each particular thing, “what is it in itself… what [is] its causal nature… and what is it doing in the world?

Reluctantly, I admit that I have sometimes created getters, particularly in Groovy, which supports them syntactically, but immutable properties only need apply. In all cases, the class in question must mainly exist to do other useful things.

Instead of beans, if you want a collection of data, use a Collection. Pure mindless beans are not object-oriented; they existed in C too but we called them “structs.”

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